As I continue on this journey of my first blog series I’m finding it interesting the things that pop into my head and the abundance of topics within this single “wounds” topic that can be spoken to. This morning, I want to talk about the importance of understanding wounds and why it is so crucial to your heart and everyone else around you to understand. But also how to cope when the people who are closets to you, just don’t get it.
Each person has different wounds that can be caused by any number of things. For example the would could be abandonment, caused by a father leaving as a child, a lover sneaking away in the night, an absent minded mother… the list could go on and the abandonment doesn’t need to be physical. Abandonment has many forms and can be physical or emotional all leaving a gaping wound in our hearts. Then the wound manifest in our day to day and all future relationships in any number of ways. I would say the most common being anger and distance. Key ways a person can build walls to protect her heart. Hiding it in the tall grass.
Every single person on earth has deep rooted emotional wounds that they drag around every day. Every single person. Male or female, adult or child. Because sin runs rampant in this world and none of us will get out of this place without major battle scars. It’s completely impossible. And no wound is less important than the other. A woman who was physically beaten and gone through intense trauma has some pretty intense wounds. But so does the woman who was dumped by her one true love when she was 13 because braces weren’t cool. One woman clearly went through much more physically. But the fact of the matter is both women will have emotional wounds they carry to the day they die and both are 100% completely VALID. That is what you must understand about wounds. They are all valid regardless of the circumstances. They all leave scars on our hearts and they all effect and shape who we eventually become, thus they are all valid pains that must be acknowledged, and ultimately dealt with.
But dealing with wounds take time, patience and a deep and loving relationship with the only one that can heal those wounds. I believe sometimes wounds can be so deep there isn’t time to heal them all before we go to heaven. Our lives as a whole here are a work in progress and sometimes that work is finished in Heaven. So do not be dismayed. If you have a deep rooted wound and you and Jesus are working on it, but it doesn’t get fixed over night just because you asked Him to come into that place and begin to heal, be patient. His timing is perfect and he WILL heal you. But it will be a roller coaster because we are human, and we have an enemy that will derail us. But Jesus is faithful to put us back on track, time and time again.
Living your life understanding that each and every person has these wounds allows you to see people differently. You begin to have more grace toward them, their attitudes, their anger. You begin to see that sometimes it’s not them spewing venom but their wounds hemorrhaging. And if you understand this you can offer them grace and forgiveness a lot easier than before. The horrible catch twenty two is when their wounds speak directly to tear at yours. If you have two people who have deep abandonment issues it is hard for one to give the other grace. Because the walls they build are identical. Their defenses the same. And ultimately, by nature, those defenses are the exact Achilles heel to the other persons heart. Let me explain better. A person who has abandonment issues will likely use anger and distance when their heart is being attacked. They will become angry and have an inner dialogue telling them to push that other person away. After all it’s the only way to protect their heart. Then the person on the receiving end has the same wound… Sees the other person pushing them away, confirming their hearts fear of being left, so they become angry and push away before the other has a chance to leave. So you can see how this can become a deadly trap if you cannot step back and see… this is not them, this is the wound speaking.
To offer than kind of grace is hard, often painful and extraordinarily difficult. We become so wrapped up in our own wounds we sometimes fail to see others. Jesus has grace enough for everyone. If you can put Him in the middle of everything His grace will cover everything. But it is hard. And sometimes feels impossible. But if you open your heart to Him, he will not break it. He will not wound you but heal you. And in the process you will begin to see and be able to had out grace wherever you go because His grace overflows through you.
