One of the deepest longings a woman has is to be heard. I hear it over and over again from friends and feel it in my own heart so deeply I sometimes think I will break in two. You hear people say the best relationships are friendships first and I believe it’s because if you can be friends it’s because that person hears you. Not just the words coming out of your mouth. You hear the morning news like that. But hear beyond the words to the heart and what is actually being said.
We all have wounds that go deep, and trace back as far as Adam and Eve. Men’s wounds are different than women’s’ and I cannot speak for them. But I do know about a woman’s heart. And although a woman is not fragile in any way, in fact she is strong in so many ways, her heart is very wounded. That is why she protects it, hides it. Like a deer hides her fawn who is so defenseless from the world. She will hide her in the tall grasses and go sometimes miles away from her, knowing it is safe where she hid it from the world. Just as a woman hides her heart and is often so far removed from it, as to keep it safe from this treacherous world.
The problem arises when a woman’s desire for relationship demands she bring her heart to the table. She is basically a deer brining her fawn to the wolves and offering it to them, hoping they will not devour her precious thing. Because again, a woman’s deepest desire is to be heard, seen. The world does a really good job of telling her that she is not enough day in and day out. She’s not pretty enough. She’s not skinny enough. She’s not on time, busy enough, working hard enough. She’s not a perfect wife, mother, sister, teacher, student, athlete… you get my point. And old wounds will continue to be brought to the table until she feels heard, because it cannot heal until it has life spoken into it. It’s how wounds work. It’s how insecurities work. The world does a really good job telling her that her heart is unimportant. And each woman feels these things in different ways due to their own personal wounds, but none of them are any less valid. Is it any wonder she keeps her heart hidden in the tall grass?
If she brings you her heart on a platter it has taken all the courage she can summon. She is counting on you not devouring it. But so many times a woman can summon the courage to bring her heart to someone and they tear the wounds deeper and send her running for cover to hid her precious heart. And it validates her reasoning to keep her heart hidden. It solidifies her belief that it is not safe to let it be seen. No one understands it anyway.
But a woman can never be happy living her life without her heart. Just like the deer she always comes back to the fawn, no matter how far she has foraged that day. It manifests in many ways depending on the wound. Some are shut down to the world, some are angry, some are man haters, some addicts, and some put on a brave face and pretend there is nothing wrong and cry themselves to sleep. But the world has taught her, and people reinforce to her, that the world is no place for her heart. Eventually the world can kill the fawn if it cannot remain hidden well enough. The doe will come back and with confusion and try and rouse her heart. But eventually she will walk away, never to return.
There is only one truly safe place for her to bring her heart. Only one man who will hear her, see her, cherish her heart. Only one man who, time after time, will fight for and protect her wounded precious heart and even begin to heal it. He has already proven his valor and love. He has already died on a cross fighting for you. And still, he has come back to save you. He calls you beloved. And he wants to hear you, he wants to see you. And he will never devour your heart. He will only cherish it. He is the only safe place in this world.
