A friend of mine posted a goofy thing on Facebook the other day that asked “The Zombie Apocalypse starts now.  Look to your right, what is your weapon?”.  I looked to my right and on my nightstand was my .40 caliber pistol.  Cool.  I must be totally set for the Zombie Apocalypse (chuckles).  Despite the silliness of the Facebook post, it made me look at my nightstand and for some reason in a way I have never before.

I’ve usually had a pistol close at hand, then when my husband took up trucking and was gone most of the time, the bond with my .40 grew.  I’m not going to make this a political post, just stating that I always have a gun on my nightstand when I go to bed at night.  And here is where it gets fun.  I also have a very expensive essential oil diffuser and several oils.  I am a walking contradiction.  I have a beer can and a bottle of Smart Water.  A cross necklace and a stone bear because it is my spirit animal.  A few other trinkets from my husband and pictures of passed away horses.  What a strange combination.

However that sums me up pretty well.  A strange combination of gentle and powerful, rough and refined, smooth and rough, leather and lace.  I love all things good, healing, natural, soothing, spiritual.  And yet I am also but a human that needs God’s grace and a drink from time to time.  I’ve never been able to be pigeon holed and put in it’s proper place because I really don’t belong anywhere.  I love the dessert, I love the Mountains.  I love rugged, wild, free Mustangs muddy and battle scarred and I love them clean and tidy in the show pen.  Black and white with so much grey.  I think it’s part of why I have always had such a hard time fitting in and finding people that speak to my soul.  No one quite understands what is going on in my heart.  Sometimes I don’t either.

I never thought something as silly as the items on your nightstand could really tell so much about a person.  The pictures of my passed away horses and trinkets from my husband, remind me of how powerful love is and the things that actually matter to me.  The constant battle with dog hair, mementos of the loyal love that trots behind me and never leaves my side.  All of this, so much of my life and who I am, just right there on my nightstand.